So I just looked at my journal and realized it's been a fucking long time since my last update. My last update mentioned me getting my new LG enV Touch.

Yeah it got stolen a while ago. Employee lines can't get insurance, and we have to pay full price for our phones. So ... fuck. In turn, our wireless bill is only $10/mo for 1500 min, and all our "add-ons" are half off. Unlimited messaging $15, unlimited internet $7.50. And under no contract. But ya gotta pick your poison. So I'm dealing with a shitty RAZR that a customer ended up leaving in our store. One of the VERY few phones that gets left and still works. I DID manage to find an enV (1) that works, but I don't have a charger for it... too lazy to look around the store for one x.x But yeah... until I can afford to fork out about $400...

Social life is sorta interesting... some friend drama going on, but I'm not going into specifics. Otherwise having a pretty good time. Fusion on Thursdays is still pretty fucking awesome (except for DnB nights. Sorry DnB heads... I can't deal with that shit all night lol).. but Tantra is ... well... hard to say. The promoter took off the whole month of September so Tantra has been a mish-mosh of all sorts of genres, including industrial and rap....

yay. ._.

So much for our "return of the amp" vibe.

Work--
After 5 months of being both jobless and then turning to telemarketing, my dreams of working for the family business has finally come true. Mom finally gave me the OK that she can put me on payroll. As soon as she told me that, I called up DialAmerica immediately to quit. :) Couldn't wait for that moment. I'll be the dedicated customer service agent/FIOS girl. One stipulation... we HAVE to get more FIOS sales to AFFORD to put me on payroll. So here's to hoping. I love working here, too. It's still frustrating when someone walks in here and I don't have the know-hows to help them. I still haven't had any formal training. All my training has been on-the-job just watching other people. And I still don't know very much about FIOS at all lol But yeah... excited for this new beginning.

I still miss being up in Delaware... I felt so alienated when I moved back down. And don't get me wrong.. I absolutely love it here. But I also miss it -there-... as silly as that sounds. It's like chocolate and vanilla. Like... all your life you eat chocolate. You love it. But then years later you try some vanilla. You like that, too. Just in a different way. You wish you could have both, but in this case, you can't. :( Yeah. Gay analogy, but it works. I'm in a roller-coaster of depression/happiness lately. Right now I'm kinda falling back into the depressed mode.

What an impact those 8 1/2 months had on my life...

Gotta love owning a Verizon store...

I felt so left out. Everytime new phones came in, my brothers would have first pick of whatever they wanted. I, on the other hand, would usually get the shaft cuz I'm not an employee there. But through much begging and pleading, she's allowing me to get (with almost a $400 loss to the store) the LG enV Touch!!!



It's so pretty!!! Exactly what I wanted in a "regular" (non-PDA) phone. Full HUGE touchscreen display, but with a qwerty keyboard inside to keep typing simple. Typing with a touchscreen is actually not that pleasant. A "gimmick" anyone in the cellphone industry would swear to. Well, anyone but you iPhone users. But I disregard all MAC products by default. I'd take a Blackberry Tour -



over the iPhone anyday, but both my brothers are already taking those from the store, and I don't wanna add to it :3 The enV Touch is already expensive enough. But this phone does A LOT OF SHIT. :) Unfortunately it looks like my phone number will HAVE to change, according to my brother, who says the Port Forwarding dept. has been a pain in the ass regarding employee lines. But oh well. Looks like my number will be retired. I'll let you all know when/if it changes, and what the new # will be when it happens at the end of this month.

Gonna be sooo happy to dump my "smart" dumbphone (Nokia n75)... AND AT&T. FUCK YOU.

:)

I certainly thought it'd be easier than this, but every waking moment of my life still reminds me of him. I'm not going to go into much detail about it, because it still hurts to even think of those times. But over the past 2 months I've realized... I'm not sure if I'll ever be the way I was able to be BEFORE I moved. I find myself with too much time on my hands, but no motivation to do anything with that time. After Quality Resources dumped me, I found a new telesales job at DialAmerica (selling subscriptions to help Special Olympics--a more useful cause at least) but it's only part-time, and the pay isn't nearly what it was at QR. But you give a little and take a little. The drive is only half of what it WAS, and the people are definitely more pleasant to be around (not constantly being talked down to from a very harsh New Yorker who was constantly reminding us I could replace you in an instant...), and the shorter tele-time IS much easier on my voice (for anyone whose known me for any reasonable amount of time knows I have very weak vocal chords, and I lose my voice EVERY time I go partying, etc.). But now that I'm not working 43-53 hours a week, I sit in my room, with only the motivation to clean, clean, clean. I can probably thank my mother for this type of OCD. Ever since I was maybe about 12, she's always told me never to waste a waking minute, and I should be doing something around the house to help her clean, because she always DID have a full-time job, and asking any of the males in the house to do so was pretty much futile. Sure, I never LIKED doing it, but years and years of "training" like that has managed to cement some type of cleaning disorder into my brain, and I spend any moment I can making my room pretty much immaculate. Why only my room, and not the whole house? I'm not sure. Something is definitely fucked up in my brain, though. Because ever since I moved back I'm the brooding type--my room has become my sanctuary. Sure, I go out. Anyone who knows me knows I would never turn down an opportunity to mingle! Especially on those awesome Thursdays and Saturdays when I'm gone to Ybor. But if I'm NOT out, I'm unmotivated to do anything but sit in my bedroom, watch the saaaame shows on the tube, clean in-between, and every so often check the internet for new activity. I'd say over the course of the past 2 months, I've literally pulled this whole room apart section-by-section and have re-done, cleaned, and organized every part of it. And I'm in so much debt, I can't afford to go shopping or drive anywhere. So I sit and wait.

Would I call it true depression? Probably not. I still consider myself a pretty happy person OVERALL. Once things get organized, I'll be "working" sorta part-time to get new eligible upgrade customers into our Verizon store. Once that happens, more of my time will be occupied, and more money in my pocket. But I guess this is just one of those life's lessons I was always warned about. I consider myself lucky that at least I learned it early enough in life to hopefully recover at some decent point in time. Does it mean I'm over him? No, I don't know if that'll ever completely happen. But maybe someday I won't let it affect me as much as it still does to this day. The only social things occupying me ARE going to Ybor twice a week, and on occassion the hookah bar our group huddles over to somewhat frequently. But even that... since the tobacco hike, they told us they'd have to higher the price of their hookahs! :( That's our PERFECT hangout too. The absolute best way to play Garbage (the best card game on the planet. Ever.) or Apples 2 Apples... even accompanied by some really bad stand-up comedy or amateur singing.

I miss those PEXies though... I tell ya, those are some of the best people on this planet. Hands down. (lol thumbs up represent that V-town).. Really wish I coulda seen what that PEX Fest was all about.

Not to say my 4th of July wasn't spectacular. My brother was able to spin at Tantra (the old Amphitheater complex) the weekend prior, and on the 4th, it was a whole bunch of Fusion DJs who took over Tantra! A whole night of BREAKS. My kinda night. This weekend my brother is spinning again, though I can only HOPE we get the kind of turnout we've been having for the past 2 weekends. I know it'll be more tough this time around... Our Tampa Rave Krew is throwing their own soiree on the Skyway, and that accounts for a LARGE population of people that have been coming out.. so here's to hope. It's so funny... when Tantra does well, me and Justin pretty much take it as a personal compliment. We don't work there or anything, but we might as well. I have worked my fingers to the BONE promoting that place because no one knows it's open. We're just trying to restore faith in the dance scene back in Ybor. It's pretty much anyone's game right now, and we need to let people (especially in Channelside) know that the NEW Amp is back, with the potential to be better than ever, but only if people come out to support. Fusion? Fusion doesn't need any help. Dan has done a damn good job of building that place up, and it seems as if it's pretty much assumed that there'll be a good turnout no matter what.

My mother ended up getting a new job, too. Ironically enough, at a place she used to work at years ago. It's good to see her stress levels lowered finally. I think Pinecrest Place was running her down like a ticking time-bomb, and working at Balmoral again can only mean great things for her future. I'm really happy for her.

Also looking forward to the upcoming Vegas trip in September. I really hope I have some MONEY to spend by then. I mean... what's Vegas without money? I can't wait to go back. It's been 4 years since we last went, and it was during the FREEZING months of winter. I can't wait to see how things have changed, and maybe to finally visit Fremont St. (the old Vegas strip) because I never got to the first time around.

Maybe it'll fulfill my desires for the following couple of months, until another madness sets in.

This job is proving to kick my ass in more ways than one..

working 9 hours with no off-the-clock breaks basically passes me out the minute I get home everyday.

my weak voice is proving to be a major problem. Looks like whenever I go out clubbing, I'll need to start writing down my thoughts. I can't afford to keep losing my voice like this.

But my bosses know I have a positive attitude, so here's to hoping!!

That's right. For anyone who knew, I've been without a job for about 2 months now, and it's been KILLIN' ME. Finally got one as a telemarketer with RIDICULOUS PAY OPPORTUNITIES.

$10.00/hr with perfect attendance and $15/hr on every other Saturday we work BUT....

$1/sale

once you reach 40 sales in a day, extra $25.
and if you reach more? Even higher bonuses. Up to an extra $100/day

and if you make 200 sales/week?
EXTRA $100 AGAIN.

Asking around, it'd appear that the lowest reps still make probably around $700/week.

I'm stoked. Finally have a normal 9-5 job, benefits, and FUCKDICULOUS pay. No holidays to work, and all my evenings are free.

If I'm successful here...

No more fucking retail for this broad.

Was actually pretty decent.

Do I wish they played nothing but breaks?
Yeah.

Do I wish for Mondo to start spinning there again?
Yeah.

Do I hope they eventually get some AWESOME performers in the future?
Yeah.

But for a start? It's not bad. So far it's a mix of house and breaks, which I can definitely deal with.

Fusion Thursdays is still probably a better bet. Not to mention my brother's spinnin' there this Thursday :]

Job-hunt is still unsuccessful, but Tuesday is the magic day I find out if that changes..

Found a new hookah hang-out! It's pretty flippin' sweet, and their hookahs taste better than anything I've ever had. Amazing place to play some Garbage.

"Working" at our verizon store right now... hoping we somehow get ONE SALE on this boring and useless Sunday.

I'm so proud of my parents. I never thought in a million years my parents would own a verizon store. It's holding up its own in this shitty economy, but of course it's not nearly enough. Maybe someday I'll put some pictures on here.

Downloaded the Rap Chop. Happy faces. Maybe I can convince Justin to spin it on Thursday lol.

I miss him. Even though 2 months have passed, and I barely get chances to speak with him, I find myself still crying outta nowhere in my room. Just miss him like crazy...

blackmail material. :]

Alright well I guess I'll finally put something here.

Yes I moved back to FL (for those of you out there who didn't believe me)...

It's unfortunate that me and Kev had things out on April 1st. Bad timing, but that's just how it worked out.

We're still on good terms, and I'm not gonna ever give up on us. I love that boy just too much. I just need to learn how to react in certain situations better, and not flip out over the dumb things. I know I'm not a bad person, and neither is he. Things just sometimes happen when you drop your life to start a new one, and I learned that out the painful way. If Kevin ever changes his mind... I'd move back up there in a hot second.

I'm now in Florida, back at home--jobless and depressed. I got a decent tax return and that's what's keeping me from losing all hope, but nothing is ever enough.

I do have SOMEWHAT of a plan as long as I'm down here. Get a shitty job to pay basic bills, and in the meantime I'm training-off-payroll in my mom's verizon store.. She can't afford me on payroll yet... for a few reasons, but I still want to learn. I always said... if I ever had to be back home for whatever reason, I just want to help her out. After some training, I'll be the dedicated FiOS girl, and make like $75 commission on any FiOS I sell.

Being back in Florida is bittersweet. I missed my friends and family (haha verizon pun) and my clubs but it really is a double-edged sword. I can't picture my life without Kevin, and I'd sacrifice a spoiled Florida life to be with him any day.

I had much more I wanted to write about but it's actually been a pretty busy day at the store! Til next time.

Back in Florida... "home"...

bittersweet.

:(

Moving back to Florida...

Me and Kevin didn't work out after all ._.

Finally getting around to making this post...

February was kind of a harsh month for my babe... My birthday on the 8th, Valentine's on the 14th, then our one year anniversary on the 22nd. It was well worth the late wait. Pink sapphires and diamonds!!!!









I loooove 'em!!!

Not much else to talk about really... The nicer weather is approaching soon. The snow was nice, but after a few months of it here and there, WE WANT WARM BACK. lol

Kevin taught me cribbage...

it's my new favorite card game ^____^

In fact, I'm playing it right now so bye :)

Soooo... me and Kev celebrated our one year anniversary on Sunday. One year! Already been living up here now for over 7 months as well. Already through the worst part of the cold season, of course (according to my research on The Weather Channel...) Though I've cried and cried because I seem to get sick about every 2-3 weeks... whether it's pink eye, sore throats, coughs, stuffy noses, or just overall feeling like a mucousy mess... I guess I'm trying to take the George Carlin approach to thinking. If I allow my immune system to battle all this shit out, in the long run it'll make it stronger. That, and... I can 't really afford doctor visits all that often.

Heartburn was quite an interesting time. Not quite as fun as the PEX Warehouse, but still had a good time. I just can't wait til these extreme cold temps take a hike. Costumes are so much more fun when you're not freezing your ass off in a cute plaid skirt.

Had my 25th birthday on the 8th... holy shit I'm getting old! But I'm happy, and that's all that matters :) Yeah, I do miss you guys in Florida. More than you know. I wish I could afford to come back every couple months just to have chill time. But damn that'd get expensive lol.

Welp... most of my life I choose not to document in this here journal. Could definitely get me in heaps 'o trouble ;)

Just an entry to prove I'm still alive! -Somewhat- well (damn I'll kick this cough), and lovin' my babe ♥

But man would I love to have my monitor cable back! *shakes fist at Kev*...

**J-bean**

I turn a quarter of a century old today.

:o

And back to Florida I come! (Just for 3 days!)

So I'm attending my first adult themed party this weekend. Our friend is hosting one every second saturday of every month from now on. Membership only. Strictly couples and single gals only. In an AWESOME warehouse. So fucking excited. Me and Kevin have decided this time to be professor and schoolgirl ;) Maybe I'll post pictures later. Maybe.

Last weekend was Decemberween. AWESOME basement party hosted by our good friend Reef who lives in Richmond, VA. Seriously. Dude's got a better sound system and lights than most clubs I've been to. I don't know if they all belonged to him or not, but they were THERE and that's all that matters. I got muy fucked up and I can't believe I met CAITLIN. Most of you won't know who I'm talking about, but I'm sure Connie will. Me and her talked for the longest time about something we really don't miss. Apparently she's engaged now...

Some of my newfound friends are incredibly awesome. They all wanted my hat.



I was sort of dressed like a female gansta :) It WAS, after all, a Halloween Christmas party. Costumes aren't just for Halloween up here. It's an all-year party thing. I originally wasn't going to dress up, but came up with some clothing items last second that worked and bam. Insta-costume. The hardest part to enjoy was simply the weather. Anytime we wanted to walk outside, we were instantly blasted with 20-something degree chill.

However, I'm more than completely stoked about coming home for Christmas. I miss my mom so much! They all didn't think I would make it up here. That I'd wanna move back within 6 months. Welp. Been 5 so far, and things are stronger between me and Kevin than they ever have been. We've had our little tiffs here and there like any normal couple would, but as cheesy and redundant as it is, it only makes us stronger.

Still running through problems regarding the need for a driver's license up here... Damn social security card issues. Mom tried to help me get another one, but it looks like I'm going to simply have to take care of this myself.

My job is... well, my job. Both my manager and DM are really pushing me to take the assistant manager position... I don't REALLY want to work 40 hours a week like they want me to. I'm doing it NOW because we're in the holiday crunch and we're down to one manager, me (floor sup) and one keyholder. I would never desert my staff in need, so yeah. I'm helping out working 40-45 hours a week. If it wasn't retail, and I could work 9-5 Monday thru Friday it'd be different. But working random hours in retail? It gets to the point where I come home and my babe is already passed out on the couch. Then we wake up early, get about an hour to chill before he leaves, and I don't get to really see him much like that. It's hard enough not being able to spend about half my weekends with him. He, being a DJ, is always booked for parties out-of-town or whatever.. I spend lots of weekends alone in this apartment. If I go back to my requested 20-30 hours/week, I get more time to go places with him. Simple as that. It's not MY fault I'm the only person in my store whose been with the company for almost 3 years lol.

Snow is beautiful. Only had 2 snows so far, but I'm sure more will come :)

Ice, on the other hand, is not so cool.

One thing I still will always miss is my music :( Damn breaks come back to meeeee ;_; It sure would help if Mondo would answer and IM every now and then.

Well I'm gonna get along now. I'm apparently hard to shop for for Christmas, and both Kevin and his mom don't like it ;) Gotta start thinking.

I'm thankful for...

Having the necessary ingredients for a 7-layer dip on Thanksgiving.

Hey when you're eating solo, does it really matter what goes in your mouth? :)

In other news, this may be the first Thanksgiving ever I spent completely alone.

Updating from my phone at work.. I'm that bored. Yes, there's probably things I could be doing, but I simply don't feel like it :)

Some points of interest..

-I attended my first warehouse party on the 25th :) omg. That's all I have to say about that. Kevin dj'd early, so I got him for the whole night! The 3rd floor of this place is nothing but a sex & bondage playground lol All the costumes were gorgeous. The warehouse was decorated in a way that probably took weeks to look that way. There are no limits with the pexies.

-I'm seriously considering burning man next year now. I might be able to handle it lol

-Me and my babe have finally realized exactly how different we've been raised, causing our first serious strain on the relationship. But only temporary, of course. We're 100% again. I love that boy too much.

-Work is slightly improving. The store looks a thousand times better than when i started here back in july. So tough with christmas coming up..

-Finally met PHIL!!!!

-Still haven't registered my car here. I need to stop procrastinating on getting my window tint removed..any suggestions on how to make this an easy task are welcomed.

-Almost snowed the other day.. But no. Just cuz I want it to lol kevy says it's a bit early anyway. I think I'm handling the cold weather pretty well considering I'm a big fat baby lol

Alright. Well.. I still got over 4 hours of this dumb shift left. Might as well go... Work. Or something. Then home for cuddles!

From Dec. 24th thru the 26th...

Already booked. And my boss is awesome for approving it so quickly. She knows I miss my family so much (yeah yeah I know it's only been 3 months but still..) They don't seem to be doing well financially, and my mother's spirits have been brought down so much lately. I've never heard so much sadness in text form..

On a brighter note, I went to my first burner event this past weekend. Playa Del Fuego. It was held in Townsend, DE... about a 40 minute drive south of here. So it was nice. We pitched a tent but hardly needed to use it. Kevin went all 4 days; I just went from Saturday - Sunday. What an interesting series of events.

• had my first chick makeout session. Right in front of my sweety sandwiched in the couch. Hey, it was his idea.


• didn't sleep of course... TOO MANY DRUGZ, SON.
  
• met some of the infamous PLF (Party Liberation Front) crew Kevin talks about aaaalll the time
  
• got a little jealous, of course. Kevin's a heart throb, and he knows it.
  
• 9 person cuddle puddle on couch.
  

That was only 7 person. We had another puddle later on that included 2 more. :)

Saturday night was the burn of the pony. The staffers were the ones that lit it, including my baby!


(He's the tallest one of course... with the green flame trying to outreach everyone! lol)

And here's what the pony looks like ablaze--


And here's the sunset we saw as we left sunday evening..


All in all... a good time. I'm still working up the nerve to think about Burning Man next year... battling the elements 40 minutes south in a wooded area for a couple days is slightly different than a desert in Nevada for a WEEK. Only after 2 days I smelled like UBAR SHIT. But I can't stand the thought of enduring another week alone in the apartment next year. It is quite a while away to think about, and that gives me time. For now, I'm just excited for Decom! We're going to a warehouse party the weekend before Halloween. I'll post a picture of my costume WHEN IT ALL GETS HERE (attn ebay shippers I'm still waiting from..)

Can't wait ^-^!!!!